leadership development

Maximum Impact Leadership: Step 5 of 7

July 7, 2015 By Sam Palazzolo, Managing Director

The Point: I’ve seen a lot of leaders come, and I’m certain I’ll see a lot go in the future. But what is it about the “best” leaders that we can share with you? The “Best” Leaders one way or the other always have maximum impact on their organizations, their industries, and the world! The following seven (7) part series was developed from coaching conversations at Tip of the Spear and plays an integral part in our Business Advisory Services (Leadership Development, Executive Coaching, and Communication Skills Training for Leaders Series). In Step 1 of 7 for Maximum Impact Leadership we looked at your ability to ask questions. In Step 2 of 7 we looked at your ability to secure feedback from those questions by listening. In Step 3 of 7 we looked at your ability to think of what is being said. In Step 4 of 7 we examined your ability to thank others for their feedback. Here in Step 5 is the opportunity for you to respond (but do so at your own peril!) I hope that you’re able to implement these seven (7) “best” practices for maximum impact leadership… Enjoy!

Refresh of Maximum Impact Leadership Step 1 Ask | Step 2 Listen | Step 3 Think | Step 4 Thank

Recall that in Step 1 of 7 of developing your maximum impact leadership, you are asking stakeholders to provide you with feedback on how you can be the “best” leader possible. You’ve asked several key questions that drive towards that destination. In Step 2 of 7 you needed to do the easy part of listening (or difficult part, depending on if you read the post!) In Step 3 of 7 we took a look at ways in which you could “think” differently (or at least this should have been different from your current thinking habits. In step 4 of 7 we realized that thanking is as much a part of the leadership equation as doing.

Thank You… No Really, Only Say Thank You!

On one leadership development assignment I had nearly a decade ago, the client asked if I would work with them to create a customized 360-degree assessment. This assessment tied in perfectly with the leadership competencies we had identified earlier in the consulting arrangement, and appeared to be the next logical step in developing tomorrow’s organizational leaders today. However, throw logic out the window because we failed to put in place a “braking” mechanism that in hindsight was a no brainer, but for where we were wasn’t even on our radar map.

I’m Gonna Get You Sucker!

The braking mechanism that we should have thought of (but didn’t) was the idea of report-out retribution. In other words, once a leader received 360-degree feedback from their stakeholders, it’s imperative that they don’t take action against those that have taken the time to provide them with such feedback. Instead, the leaders of tomorrow acted more like Genghis Kahn of Mongolian Empire fame than Ghandi.

One leader in the development program went so far as to write out his own “Hit List” based on feedback received. Sometimes accurate, sometimes not he developed a list of his stakeholders and guessed which feedback went with whom. Having identified in his mind who was “with” him and who was “against” he proceeded over the next two-three years to handout easy assignments to those “with” and punishing ones for those “against.” All in all, he was wrong… Not only in guessing those with/against, but also in his methodology.

The “Thank You” Model

So what is the proper way to say “Thank You” after receiving the feedback from a 360-degree assessment? I’m often asked if there is a method I recommend, and here is a word track for it:

“Mr. Stakeholder, I wanted to thank you for participating in my 360-degree feedback assessment. I don’t know the details regarding who said what, but I do know that in providing me with details regarding how/where I can improve, my stakeholders like you have provided me with very valuable data on how I can be a better leader. So thank you!”

You might have noticed that the proceeding message is short, positive, targeted, and to the point. The focus of your “Thank You” is on the feedback and how you can be a better leader moving forward (Exactly the target-zone of the 360 degree assessment, right?)

Keep Your “But” Out Of The Thank You

There is one mistake that some leaders make when approaching this feedback moment through their reply. Some leaders insist on saying “Thank You” and then following it up with a nice/big “But” to their stakeholder. In doing so, whatever goodwill moment you were hoping to achieve went straight out the window. In executive coaching sessions I hear of this “but” moment and inquire as to why the leader did so. Mostly from a place of blame-avoidance, sometimes from a fear of loss of control, and almost always from an ego zone the leader feels compelled to bring up why they are the way they are.

In completing your 360-degree assessment, your associates know who you are and that you act a certain way in given situations. Good, bad, or ugly they really don’t care to learn what your logic is for your behavior. So keep your “but” out of the response.

SUMMARY

Ask, listen, think, thank, and respond to the stakeholders around you for maximum impact leadership. In your leadership development sessions and/or executive coaching moments you will have the opportunity to search for best practices and word tracks on how to respond to stakeholder feedback. Know this much, “But” is never an acceptable response and should be kept out of your reply.

Sam Palazzolo

The Leadership Challenge: Shutting Up

June 28, 2015 By Sam Palazzolo, Managing Director

The Point: Time is a very valuable commodity these days. And with what seems like less time on your leadership hands, you’re probably compelled to speak more than listen. After all, as a leader contended this week during an executive coaching session, how else would he be able to give direction to his troops! However, what exactly are you attempting to accomplish in such leadership moments? Granted, the leadership challenge of “getting things done” should always be forefront in your agenda. So it’s within these “shutting up” moments that we’ll examine if you’re a leader looking to succeed by simply dolling out orders, or if you’re a leader looking to identify direction and let your stakeholders identify orders and priority therein… Enjoy!

I Listen… Don’t I?

Terry was a successful C-Suite leader that had been successfully running the operations department of a Fortune 1000 organization (He was Chief Operations Officer – COO). Engaged in a classic Marshall Goldsmith Stakeholder Centered Coaching initiative afforded us the opportunity to not only engage him in leadership development and executive coaching, but also his stakeholders (peers, superiors, and subordinates) in feedback moments regarding his progress. While Terry was successful in accomplishing project after project thrown his team’s way, there was a bit of a “rip current” running within his department.

Turns out Terry, despite all of the accomplishments and accolades bestowed upon him wasn’t a very good listener according to his stakeholders. The reasons for these poor listening moments runs the feedback gambit:

Always in a hurry
Never really paying attention to feedback
Providing detailed direction with little interpretation necessary
Not engaging his stakeholders in meaningful dialog
Goal accomplishment “his way” was paramount

Two Ears… One Mouth!

If Terry’s plight sounds familiar, it should. We’ve all either seen a leader that behaves this way, or perhaps are guilty of conducting the leadership behavior identified ourselves. In leadership development and executive coaching sessions, leaders describe their least favorite leadership moment as those involving the broadcasting of message/direction with little chance of engagement/meaning being available for the tasks at hand. So if we know that one-way communication channels such as these aren’t preferred, why do we engage in them time and again?

“Listening is hard work” Terry told me. Of course it is! It’s even harder work when you don’t ask good questions. Think of all the questions you’ve asked your stakeholders in the most recent week… What were they? If they bordered on the “light” leadership scale (meaning they were pretty weak, superficial, and/or placated your stakeholders), then you missed a great opportunity to learn from them. If you have all the answers all the time, then perhaps a team isn’t necessary. If you want to get buy in for the job at hand, you should consider asking your stakeholders questions.

How to Shut Up as a Leader

So exactly how can you ask better questions to put yourself in position to listen? The task is hard, but not impossible to shut up. Here are a few tips/techniques we reviewed:

Open dialogs with stakeholders with an open-ended question (One that requires an answer in more than a one word answer)
Listen for the “hidden” meanings in stakeholder’s response
Explore those meaning with follow-up, or drill-down questions (Again, open-ended works best)
Seek input/feedback on how to perform the project at hand
Listen!
- Put your finger to your lips to keep your mouth closed
- Take a deep breath while listening
- Criss cross your hands
- Blink with heavy eyelids
  - NOTE: Don’t do all of these simultaneously… You’ll look like you’re not paying attention – That’s worse than not listening!
- Keep on-time/on-target objectives for feedback (Getting their feedback is not an opportunity for complaints!)
- Confirm your understanding of what has been said
- Chart future course together!

SUMMARY

In this post, we took a look at the leadership challenge of shutting up. Some leaders excel at asking questions (One I worked with used to call it out ahead of time by saying “Now I’m going to ask you a provocative question…”) and then listening. If you find that you are not getting the results you want in the time period desired, perhaps there’s an opportunity for you to do a better job of listening, instead of talking all the time as a leader. Remember, leadership isn’t that hard… but is sure can be difficult!

Sam Palazzolo

Maximum Impact Leadership: Step 4 of 7

June 20, 2015 By Sam Palazzolo, Managing Director

The Point: I’ve seen a lot of leaders come, and I’m certain I’ll see a lot go in the future. But what is it about the “best” leaders that we can share with you? The “Best” Leaders one way or the other always have maximum impact on their organizations, their industries, and the world! The following seven (7) part series was developed from coaching conversations at Tip of the Spear and plays an integral part in our Business Advisory Services (Leadership Development, Executive Coaching, and Communication Skills Training for Leaders Series). In Step 1 of 7 for Maximum Impact Leadership we looked at your ability to ask questions. In Step 2 of 7 we looked at your ability to secure feedback from those questions by listening. In Step 3 of 7 we looked at your ability to think of what is being said. Here in Step 4 of 7, we’ll take a look at your ability to thank others for their feedback (Simple, right?) I hope that you’re able to implement these seven (7) “best” practices for maximum impact leadership… Enjoy!

Refresh of Maximum Impact Leadership Step 1 Ask | Step 2 Listen | Step 3 Think

Saying “Thank You”… That’s Good Manners, Right?

How many times have you asked for input on a project, task, or assignment as a leader? Outside of your leadership development training or executive coaching session, I would say the number probably is in the hundreds or thousands (conservatively speaking). Now ask yourself the follow up question: How many times have you actually “thanked” the person providing you with the feedback? Unfortunately, and this is no conservative accident, the number is probably represented by less than the digits on your two hands (That’s less than 10!)

So if you believe that saying “Thank You” is a good representation of manners, why do so few leaders extend the courtesy? I’ve asked this question to well over one hundred leaders, and here are the answers I typically receive:

It’s work, not pleasure
The answers should be provided as part of the other person’s job
I don’t have enough time in the workplace to get all my work done as is, let alone take the extra second it would take to say “Thanks!”

Pathetic, right?

Killing the Messenger is BAD

Here’s another way to think of the situation of thanking those that provide us with input… How many times have you received such input, and then instead of thanking the other party looked at what was being said in a defensive manner? Odds are, if you’re a leader (or human) your ego got in the way and you became defensive.

Instead of looking at the input received as positive, you instead looked at the message as deconstructive and went on the defense in an attempt to get even.

While killing the messenger is rarely a good strategy, listening to what is said and saying thank you is. It doesn’t mean that you are not planning on taking action at a later time on what was discussed (This should be your strategy, instead of looking to take action against the party delivering the constructive feedback!)

SUMMARY

Ask, listen, think, and thank the stakeholders around you for maximum impact leadership. This is just the beginning of the success recipe, and we’ll explore the remainder in the following steps. Don’t forget those messages you heard in your leadership development sessions or executive coaching moments… They just could help you overcome many of the leadership challenges you face!

Sam Palazzolo

The Leadership Challenge: Anger Management – 5 Tips

June 10, 2015 By Sam Palazzolo, Managing Director

The Point: What does success look like in business from a leadership perspective? In other words, if you could capture a moment, similar to a photo, what would the image consist of and what would the participants be doing? I asked several leaders this question at a recent group executive coaching session. Their responses were mostly positive, ranging from ringing the NYSE opening bell to popping champagne bottles. All participants were smiling from ear-to-ear regardless! Except one participant who had a dramatically different glimpse into success… an angry image! In this post, we take a look at Anger Management to drive leadership success and five (5) tips to assist you… Enjoy!

Because I’m Happy…

We often think of Anger Management as a process of learning how recognize signs of encroaching anger and taking the necessary steps calm oneself so as to deal effectively with the situation in a positive manner. So (1) recognition and (2) steps to calm the anger… Sounds pretty simple, right? If you’re in control of yourself and put yourself in the right situation, this shouldn’t be that hard of a task (Control Yourself + Control the Environment = Successful Leader!)

However, in business you rarely have the opportunity to have 100% control of your environment. Given a leader and their abilities and a bad environment, I’ll bet on the environment winning out each/every time. While anger management might attempt to provide the coping mechanisms during the leadership challenge, there still is no way to ensure that the environment a leader operates in will cooperate. Pharrell might have sang about happiness, but he probably wasn’t talking about leadership at work!

5 Tips to Tame Your Temper

The leader I mentioned in The Point opening could be seen in each of us. Mild mannered “Clark Kent” in some moments, Incredible Hulk (NOT Superman) in others. Typically, he was seen as the mild version, until the situation got challenging.

If you’ve been a leader for awhile, or are a first-time leader receiving leadership development training and executive coaching, you know how to handle moments of low conflict. It’s during moments of high conflict though where all of the mild mannered moments are thrown out the window!

Here then are five (5) tips to take your temper, and make the leadership challenge of anger management a little easier to manager:

Anger Management Tip #1: Know Yourself

Shakespeare wrote “To thine own self be true.” Knowing yourself as well as what might “trigger” you into moments of rage is a great first step to either identify an avoidance plan or preparation routine. Hogan Assessments has created a fantastic individual behavioral assessment that shares with you your strengths/weaknesses during such moments of anger.

Anger Management Tip #2: Think then Speak

Leaders that have limited filters already play shorthanded. Leaders that similarly have little/no filter between their thoughts and speaking often find themselves in similar straights. Give yourself a moment by taking a deep breath before responding. Practice in your executive coaching sessions!

Anger Management Tip #3: Exercise

Nothing reduces stress like a good workout. Take a walk in the woods, or a walk on the treadmill. The health benefits can help propel you into positive territory in more ways than one.

Anger Management Tip #4: ID Solutions

As a leader, you’re hopefully solutions focused. Know that the majority of anger moments stem from problems. Problems that you may have caused, known little about, etc. Regardless, focusing on solutions rather than problems is a best practice. Leadership development sessions should equip you with several solution generating practices.

Anger Management Tip #5: Express Anger Later

After the anger “storm” has passed, gather the troops and share anger moments with them. This act of transparency will provide those that work with you a glimpse inside how you operate, and will also set the tone for future moments.

SUMMARY

In summary, I’ve seen a lot of leaders that perceive that they simply operate better when they are angry. That’s nonsense… The only person that probably believes/likes their angry moments is themselves. The five (5) tips for anger management should be reviewed/implemented to overcome anger and move to positive moments, like champagne bottle popping!

Sam Palazzolo

Maximum Impact Leadership: Step 3 of 7

June 9, 2015 By Sam Palazzolo, Managing Director

The Point: I’ve seen a lot of leaders come, and I’m certain I’ll see a lot go in the future. But what is it about the “best” leaders that we can share with you? The “Best” Leaders one way or the other always have maximum impact on their organizations, their industries, and the world! The following seven (7) part series was developed from coaching conversations at Tip of the Spear and plays an integral part in our Business Advisory Services (Leadership Development, Executive Coaching, and Communication Skills Training for Leaders Series). In Step 1 of 7 for Maximum Impact Leadership we looked at your ability to ask questions. In Step 2 of 7, we looked at your ability to secure feedback from those questions by listening. Here in Step 3 of 7, we’ll take a look at your ability to think of what is being said. I hope that you’re able to implement these seven (7) “best” practices for maximum impact leadership… Enjoy!

Refresh of Maximum Impact Leadership Step 1 Ask & Step 2 Listen

You’ll Want to Lead

What’s the first thing that you’ll want to do upon receiving some feedback? If you’re like the leaders I work with, you’ll want to start talking immediately. Cutting stakeholders off before they’ve finished providing you with feedback will cut you off from receiving further feedback from them. It will also show your defensive nature and glimpses of your ego shining through. These are BAD moments, often disguised as leading!

Instead of raising your defensive posture, take a deep breath and continue to breath while being fully present in the conversation. This will provide you with the opportunity to actively think about what is being said.

Are You in Control?

Ask… Listen… Breath… Think! Sounds like a simple program, but is very difficult. Think of the most successful person you know and their ability to think. What does it reflect for you?

If you’re like most of the leaders I work with, they are looking for the competitive edge that will allow them, when the chips are down and the pressure is on, to have their best leadership moments. Moments where they will have to be 100% in control. If you think about the technique we just discussed, it reflects a high level of leadership control. After all, why would anyone listen to you if you weren’t in control of your own faculties?

If you’re acting out, defensive, showing your ego, etc. you are actually showing any/all that you are out of control. Out of control is a situation where your situation is dictating your outcomes. Instead, make an effort to never let your situation dictate your outcomes.

What Were You Thinking?

In executive coaching sessions my client and I will typically discuss a successful occurrence from the past week/month/etc. I’ll ask them to meditate, or reflect on exactly what made that situation successful.

In a similar vein, I’ll also ask them to meditate, or think, about a leadership moment that made them angry. Anger is a state that typically is associated with a cry for help, or an attempt to regain control. I’ll ask the leader to reflect on the angry moment and ask themselves the question: “What were you thinking?” The responses I get are often with much embarrassment. Leadership development training typically teaches leaders to think a certain way about Marketing or Finance, but these questions ask them to look at how they performed in non-technical areas (Something leadership development often leaves participants fare short on!)

I’ve had leaders cry in executive coaching sessions when reflecting on what made them angry. While some want to argue that in these moments of anger, that they actually have great vision, focus, and productivity. More times than not, that’s their ego talking. If they get past their ego, they’ll see that they’re ability to ask, listen, breath and think will provide them with much better control moving forward.

SUMMARY

So to start on our journey of maximum impact leadership, we fixed your cross hairs on being the best leader ever. Remember, if you ask they will tell you! The second step is to listen to what is being said. Active listening should be employed to set the right atmosphere, get more feedback through drill down questions, and reflecting that you really are listening. Here in Step 3 we looked at the act of thinking. Thinking sets the stage for great control moving forward (What everyone wants in leading, right?)

Sam Palazzolo

leadership development

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