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The Leadership Challenge: Criticism – 5 Tips!

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The Point: Call it “constructive” or call it “transparent” criticism, but have you ever had a conversation with a stakeholder at work regarding how things could have gone better? If so, you’ve probably dipped a toe or two into the constructive criticism pond. So as a leader, how can you navigate such moments maintaining a results focus and positive atmosphere? The following post looks at criticism and provides 5 leadership tips to be successful… Enjoy!

Are You Leading at the Tip of the Spear?

He Didn’t Take “Constructive” Criticism Well… Understatement!

Joe was a mid-level manager at a Fortune 1000 organization that participated in one of our leadership development executive coaching programs. He barely made the requirements for the high potential initiative, and as such struggled with several of the program topics. In particular, he struggled with the Communication Skills Training for Leaders topic, where on more than one occasion he became flustered with the content.

It was after one such “flustered” moments that we pulled him aside to share our perspective on his performance. Here’s how the conversation went:

  • US – “Joe, we wanted to touch base to see how you thought things were going?”
  • JOE – “Everything is going fine.”
  • US – “Interesting… Is there anything in the last section on Communication Skills Training for Leaders that you felt you could have improved on?”
  • JOE – “What? Improved on… I don’t think you can mess with perfection!”
  • US – “But if you could improve on perfection, because there are always opportunities to improve, what would you have done differently?”
  • JOE – “This is Bull Sh!t!”

And after that exchange Joe stormed off…

Constructive Criticism

Joe set the tone for a poor feedback improvement setting by believing that everything was fine, and that there could be no learning to improve moments to be had. While nothing said was hostile nor belligerent in nature, taking things out of context is often one of the biggest issues with receiving constructive criticism. So here are 5 tips to help you as a leader position your feedback sessions for greater success (and avoid those Joe-moments!):

Criticism Tip #5 – Your First Reaction is Wrong, so Stop!

When you give or receive feedback, it’s important to frame the conversation appropriately so that you provide the proper context. Doing so will allow you to set the stage for a good conversation (and conversely not doing so will set the stage for a bad conversation!) I encourage leaders to spell out how information shared is often taken wrong, so let’s talk about it as a part of pre-calling the actual comments. Establishing this expectation is a great way to insure constructive criticism is received as intended.

Criticism Tip #4 – Feedback is Beneficial

Why are you providing feedback? This is an important question to ask yourself. If your goal is to provide it to better an individual, realign them around organizational goals, and/or establish a different direction on project management for example then share those benefits. Otherwise, recipients will be left to their own devices (i.e., imagination) which may not produce intended outcomes.

Criticism Tip #3 – Prepare to Listen

There are three sides to every story… Our side, their side, and the truth. Insuring that you know all three sides helps in creating constructive criticism moments. The key of course is for you to listen to the other sides story. While you may have all the facts, some of the facts presented may not be ones of a high importance to you.

Criticism Tip #2 –Thank You!

I’ve heard it said that feedback, whether it’s in the form of constructive criticism or a customer survey, is a gift. Whether you agree or not, take it for what it is and remind yourself and others that the proper response is to say “Thank You!” Leave your defensiveness/rebuttal/excuses at the door.

Criticism Tip #1 – Follow Up

Once you provide or receive constructive criticism, it’s important to set a date/time to follow up to insure that what was discussed is (1) understood, (2) put into action, and (3) proper direction is once again established. I see in executive coaching sessions way too often a leaders inability to following up which causes tremendous heart ache for all parities. Know that saying thing one time and expecting everything to change as a result forever more is never a good leadership moments (It’s just not realistic, right?)

SUMMARY

In this post we’ve taken a look at the leadership challenge of criticism as well as 5 tips to help you either provide/receive constructive criticism. Let’s face it, these can be crucial conversations consisting of pain for both parties. However, the crucial conversation part comes from the fact that it is crucial to have them in order to progress forward.

 

Sam Palazzolo

The Leadership Challenge- Criticism – 5 Tips!

The Leadership Challenge: Going Trump – 3 Tips!

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The Point: He’s been called brash, egotistical, politically incorrect, and a host of other things on his ascent towards the lands highest office (The President of the United States). Donald Trump has rubbed some people the wrong way, and caused others to stand-up and cheer for his anything but politically correct pursuit. Think what you will of Donald Trump, but ask yourself if going “Trump” wouldn’t make you a better leader? In this post we’ll take a look at going Trump and 3 tips to help you be a little more politically “incorrect” in your efforts… Enjoy!

The Leadership Challenge- Going Trump – 3 Tips!

Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For You, Ask What You Can Do For Donald Trump!

The phenomena in American politics known as Donald Trump continues to grab headlines… On air encounters with journalist (Megan Kelly and Jorge Ramos to name a few), capacity crowds in attendance on his grass-roots campaign tour, buzzing the Iowa State Fair in his helicopter… these are all ways in which he has distanced himself from other running candidates and outpaced them all in the polls. Whatever your political views are, it sure is making for one entertaining viewing party, even with over a year to go before Election Day!

Part of the “charm” of “The Donald” is his rather braggadocios leadership style. The opposite style of leadership leads one to be boring, weak, perhaps even “frozen” and certainly not followable by others. In leadership development programs and executive coaching sessions I typically encounter the leadership challenge of how can you “toot” your own horn, but not in a manner that causes negative thought/feedback/action from stakeholders. So herein are 3 communication skills training for leader tips you might find helpful if you’re considering going Trump:

Going Trump Tip #3 – Use a Narrative

You want to express your qualifications, expertise, and most importantly perspective on where initiatives should go. Using a narrative about where you’ve been and previous success (and failure) moments can go a long way towards “framing” a subject and ensuing conversation. Remember to highlight the positive aspects of the leadership challenges you’ve encountered (but bringing in negative aspects will firm reality for your stakeholders).

Going Trump Tip #2 – Enlist Others

I had a conversation during an executive coaching session where the coachee wanted to know how they could get others to recommend them. There seems to be two schools of thought: School 1 has the expectation that others will gladly recommend/affirm your accomplishments. School 2 has you asking others to recommend/affirm your accomplishments. School 1 is great, but rarely occurs without asking (in other words, go with School 2!) Getting others on your same page and having them tell your story is a powerful display of social proof at play (it’s just not you that thinks so, others do as well).

Going Trump Tip #1 – Take Action

Action speaks louder than words. You can tell everyone that you have the best vision/plan for the future… You can share how you desire bigger/better things… You can even describe in detail (or at large) how you will get there! However, if you’ve never actually been there/done that through action (or actually doing) few will follow. Keep in mind, success is great to be able to report out on, but if you are truly pushing the envelope you will have many failures to report out on as well.

SUMMARY

In this post we’ve taken a look at the leadership challenge of going Trump and provided 3 tips if you are considering taking the leap yourself (and why wouldn’t you?)

 

Sam Palazzolo

 

The Leadership Challenge: Shutting Up

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The Point: Time is a very valuable commodity these days. And with what seems like less time on your leadership hands, you’re probably compelled to speak more than listen. After all, as a leader contended this week during an executive coaching session, how else would he be able to give direction to his troops! However, what exactly are you attempting to accomplish in such leadership moments? Granted, the leadership challenge of “getting things done” should always be forefront in your agenda. So it’s within these “shutting up” moments that we’ll examine if you’re a leader looking to succeed by simply dolling out orders, or if you’re a leader looking to identify direction and let your stakeholders identify orders and priority therein… Enjoy!

The Leadership Challenge- Shutting Up

I Listen… Don’t I?

Terry was a successful C-Suite leader that had been successfully running the operations department of a Fortune 1000 organization (He was Chief Operations Officer – COO). Engaged in a classic Marshall Goldsmith Stakeholder Centered Coaching initiative afforded us the opportunity to not only engage him in leadership development and executive coaching, but also his stakeholders (peers, superiors, and subordinates) in feedback moments regarding his progress. While Terry was successful in accomplishing project after project thrown his team’s way, there was a bit of a “rip current” running within his department.

Turns out Terry, despite all of the accomplishments and accolades bestowed upon him wasn’t a very good listener according to his stakeholders. The reasons for these poor listening moments runs the feedback gambit:

  • Always in a hurry
  • Never really paying attention to feedback
  • Providing detailed direction with little interpretation necessary
  • Not engaging his stakeholders in meaningful dialog
  • Goal accomplishment “his way” was paramount

Two Ears… One Mouth!

If Terry’s plight sounds familiar, it should. We’ve all either seen a leader that behaves this way, or perhaps are guilty of conducting the leadership behavior identified ourselves. In leadership development and executive coaching sessions, leaders describe their least favorite leadership moment as those involving the broadcasting of message/direction with little chance of engagement/meaning being available for the tasks at hand. So if we know that one-way communication channels such as these aren’t preferred, why do we engage in them time and again?

“Listening is hard work” Terry told me. Of course it is! It’s even harder work when you don’t ask good questions. Think of all the questions you’ve asked your stakeholders in the most recent week… What were they? If they bordered on the “light” leadership scale (meaning they were pretty weak, superficial, and/or placated your stakeholders), then you missed a great opportunity to learn from them. If you have all the answers all the time, then perhaps a team isn’t necessary. If you want to get buy in for the job at hand, you should consider asking your stakeholders questions.

How to Shut Up as a Leader

So exactly how can you ask better questions to put yourself in position to listen? The task is hard, but not impossible to shut up. Here are a few tips/techniques we reviewed:

  • Open dialogs with stakeholders with an open-ended question (One that requires an answer in more than a one word answer)
  • Listen for the “hidden” meanings in stakeholder’s response
  • Explore those meaning with follow-up, or drill-down questions (Again, open-ended works best)
  • Seek input/feedback on how to perform the project at hand
  • Listen!
    • Put your finger to your lips to keep your mouth closed
    • Take a deep breath while listening
    • Criss cross your hands
    • Blink with heavy eyelids
      • NOTE: Don’t do all of these simultaneously… You’ll look like you’re not paying attention – That’s worse than not listening!
    • Keep on-time/on-target objectives for feedback (Getting their feedback is not an opportunity for complaints!)
    • Confirm your understanding of what has been said
    • Chart future course together!

SUMMARY

In this post, we took a look at the leadership challenge of shutting up. Some leaders excel at asking questions (One I worked with used to call it out ahead of time by saying “Now I’m going to ask you a provocative question…”) and then listening. If you find that you are not getting the results you want in the time period desired, perhaps there’s an opportunity for you to do a better job of listening, instead of talking all the time as a leader. Remember, leadership isn’t that hard… but is sure can be difficult!

 

Sam Palazzolo

Maximum Impact Leadership: Step 2 of 7

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The Point: I’ve seen a lot of leaders come, and I’m certain I’ll see a lot go in the future. But what is it about the “best” leaders that we can share with you? The “Best” Leaders one way or the other always have maximum impact on their organizations, their industries, and the world! The following seven (7) part series was developed from coaching conversations at Tip of the Spear and plays an integral part in our Business Advisory Services (Leadership Development, Executive Coaching, and Communication Skills Training for Leaders Series). In Step 1 of 7 for Maximum Impact Leadership we looked at your ability to ask questions. Here in Step 2 of 7, we’ll take a look at your ability to secure feedback from those questions by listening. I hope that you’re able to implement these seven (7) “best” practices for maximum impact leadership… Enjoy!

Maximum Impact Leadership: Step 2 of 7

Refresh of Maximum Impact Leadership Step 1: Ask

Recall that in Step 1 of 7 of developing your maximum impact leadership, you are posed with the problem/opportunity of becoming the “best” leader possible. You were provided with a few questions to ask regarding how your stakeholders (superiors, subordinates, and peers) perceived you to be. Perhaps I didn’t mention it then, but I will now that asking for stakeholder feedback can be quite difficult for some leaders.

The difficulties associated with asking for feedback run the gambit, but let’s focus on just two. First, you are opening yourself up to their perceptions. Perceptions that could be accurate. Perceptions that could be inaccurate. The accurate/inaccurate dilemma comes from your perception of your own leadership style and the story being relayed to you by your stakeholder. The second difficult moment stems from your ability to separate feedback from your own ego/emotions/pride. No doubt that if the feedback is positive, it will resonate with you. Also, and perhaps to your detriment as a leader, if the feedback is negative it won’t necessary be seen in the same leadership development light. Regardless… You asked for it and they are telling you.

Successful Listening Habits?

So you ask for your stakeholders input, and they are telling you. What’s the last thing that you should do first? Odds are, you’re going to want to jump into the conversation and give your opinion/perspective. Rather than just listen to the response, you’ll attempt to justify why you behaved the way you did (Think of it as a way of “framing” your conversation).

It’s in these “framing” moments that you come off as anything but a leader. Your responses tend to hint at defensiveness (a posture that’s never good for a leader!) Having conducted over 100+ communication skills training for leaders programs, I can’t count the number of times defensiveness came off as a positive experience for all considered parties (Read that as there simply are too many!) How many times have you had a conversation with someone that went something like “You know we’re going to promote you because when you speak to your stakeholders, your defensiveness really opens the doors to future possibilities!” or “That excuse you gave really helped us shift our paradigm. Where we once were uneducated/uncertain, we now know exactly where you’re coming from!”

Ask… Stop… Breath… Listen!

Now when I coach leaders in receiving feedback, any of the above listening habits can, and typically do occur. However the key to effective listening is to do just that, listen.

The act of listening doesn’t mean hear a little bit, or stop listening while someone else is speaking with you to formulate your response once they take a breath. The goal is to be fully present, in the moment with awareness, and take the feedback in.

I often recommend to the leaders that I work with that they ask the question, stop, take a breath, and listen to the stakeholders feedback.

Best Leadership Listening Habits

If the feedback received is too topical or 30,000 foot elevation high, asking a follow up question to “drill down” to treetop level (or even better yet dirt) can provide you with more actionable feedback.

Another active listening habit that I share is to smile. It takes less effort/energy/muscle coordination for you to share a smile as opposed to a frown. The last thing you want to share is an upside-down smile with a stakeholder that you just asked to provide you feedback to. Smiling also sets a positive-tone to the atmosphere.

Maintaining eye contact is a great way to show that you’re listening. However, remember to break up your eye contact with periodic blinking or directing your attention elsewhere in the room. This will prevent the tense/creepy situation of staring that can/will derail the maximum impact leadership habit.

Periodically I get a question from a communication skills training for leaders participant regarding if it’s appropriate to take notes during such conversations. The answer is somewhat obvious, but requires the proper setup. If you truly want to recall later what is being shared, show that what the stakeholder is saying is of value, then leaders should take notes. However, first and foremost you should setup the note-taking activity by saying something like “What you’re saying is very important to me. I’m going to take a few notes while we speak, ok?”

The last active listening habit I’ll share is to nod your head periodically while feedback is being provided. Nodding shows that you are actively listening to the stakeholder. I’m certain that you’ve had the unfortunate situation of having someone listen to you with a blank stare on their face. No doubt it made you wonder if they even heard you, and more importantly if they truly value your input (They probably are looking to check some “boxes” in their leadership development program, right? Nice job Chief Human Resources Officer!)

SUMMARY

So to start on our journey of maximum impact leadership, we fixed your cross hairs on being the best leader ever. Remember, if you ask they will tell you! The second step is to listen to what is being said. Active listening should be employed to set the right atmosphere, get more feedback through drill down questions, and reflecting that you really are listening.

 

Sam Palazzolo

Maximum Impact Leadership: Step 1 of 7

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The Point: I’ve seen a lot of leaders come, and I’m certain I’ll see a lot go in the future. But  I was asked the other day during an executive coaching conversation “What is it about the “best” leaders that you can share?” After a few moments, I answered that the “Best” Leaders one way or the other always have maximum impact on their organizations, their industries, and the world! So the following seven (7) part series was developed from such coaching conversations at Tip of the Spear and plays an integral part in our Business Advisory Services (Leadership Development, Executive Coaching, and Communication Skills Training for Leaders Series). In Step 1 of 7 for Maximum Impact Leadership, we’ll take a look at your ability to ask questions. I hope that you’re able to implement these seven (7) “best” leadership behaviors/actions and make them your own on your journey towards maximum impact leadership… Enjoy!

Maximum Impact Leadership- Step 1 of 7

Who Are You? Who Do You Want to Be?

Your Chief Human Resources Officer (CHRO) recommends to all of the organizational leaders that they participate in a 360* Behavioral Assessment. This assessment, unlike an individual behavioral assessment (such as MBTI, Hogan, DiSC, etc.), allows input from not only yourself, but your stakeholders as well (Those superiors, peers, and subordinates). “No problem” you think as you take the assessment… And then the results come in!

While you thought that you were “firing on all leadership cylinders,” somehow your stakeholders are of a differing impression. It’s not that the data is terrible (You’re not going to get fired!), but it’s less than the stellar leader that you (1) thought you were and (2) know you are. So now what?

Why Not Be the Best?

In targeting goals, I always like to ask leaders I work with “What are your goals?” Typically there’s a bit of “bet hedging” going on. (Leaders typically upon initial glance don’t want to share all of their goals, or at least put them out there easily within reach). But what does setting easily accomplishable goals do for you?

Leaders that don’t strive to be the best leave themselves, their stakeholders, and their organizations short. If you desire to be a better leader, why not target being the best? If you want to be ordinary, then target something (anything) short of best.

But What Is the Best?

So if you want to be the best, why not start by asking your stakeholders the following questions:

  • What can I do to be the “best” leader ever?
  • How can I be the “best” leader?
  • How can I be a better leader?

The problem of course with asking these questions is that you will get answers. Answers that you don’t want to hear, but answers that you need to hear if you are going to fine tune your leadership development. Here’s the bottom line: You ask… They tell!

Imagine the feedback you’ll get by asking these questions. Important to note that while the feedback might sting initially, the raw data you collect will allow you in the next step (2 of 7) to filter appropriately for maximum impact leadership.

SUMMARY

So to start on our journey of maximum impact leadership, fix your cross hairs on being the best leader ever and ask questions for feedback/perspective from your stakeholders regarding those “best” moments they’ve experience (or desire). Remember, if you ask they will tell!

 

Sam Palazzolo