Tip of the Spear Ventures

A Family Office that behaves like Venture Capital | Private Equity | Business Consulting

Blog

What You Should STOP Doing As A Leader – Part V

By

The Point: While there are a gluttony of behaviors/actions you should be doing as a leader, we thought it would be interesting to take a typical Tip of the Spear contrarian view of what you should STOP doing as a leader. As such, the following seven (7) part series was developed based on executive coaching conversations had with leaders. In reviewing these leadership behaviors/actions, see if you see a little bit of yourself in the examples provided (No doubt you know several leaders besides yourself guilty)… Enjoy!

What You Should STOP Doing As A Leader – Part V

The Age of the “Yes” Person (Man/Woman)

As a leader, I want you to think back on your climb to the top… Think back to the people that were around you when you were at what’s call it “Base Camp.” That is to say, when you were first starting your career. In your leadership development program (You did have a leadership development program, right?) f you were to look to your left, and then to your right, no doubt neither of those two people would be present in your company (nor in leadership positions in their respective organizations if they/you have moved on).

In thinking back to those times (Hopefully they were good times), you probably witnessed an occasional sucking up. You know the action, telling the big boss that they were great, when the reality was they were far from it. Call it what you want, but you probably saw some “behind” kissing taking place (putting it mildly).

Leaders… It’s Lonely at the Top!

Flash forward to the present day… Now as a leader, you know when this sucking up is happening. So why do you let it occur? Let me ask you to consider a possible different way to frame this: Do you ever get told “No” by those that work with you? (I hope not… See Part I of this series as to why you shouldn’t!) If you’re like most leaders, you are far more likely to hear “Yes” as opposed to “No.”

So if you are constantly being praised, or sucked up to, what’s wrong with that? The problem lies in this directly perpetuates the stereotypical employee/employer relationship of those that kiss enough behind get ahead.

Leadership Isn’t a Popularity Contest

I was fortunate enough to do some work with Jim Kuzes, of “The Leadership Challenge” fame. I shared with Jim (and co-author Barry Posner) the dilemma an executive coaching client faced inasmuch his popularity with stakeholders was extremely low (read that as they hated him!) Fortunately/unfortunately, the feeling was mutual, as he had little regard for them either (He would typically say “I’ll fire all of them, and replace them within 24-hours with better people!”)

Jim gave me some sage advice, primarily that while leadership isn’t a popularity contest… It’s not an un-popularity contest either!

SUMMARY

So in this post we covered that leaders shouldn’t play favorites in the workplace. Stakeholders aren’t pets, and therefore even though they show faux-loyalty tendencies we shouldn’t reward their non-productive/results focused behavior accordingly. Instead, look for those that collaborate on initiatives and put solid numbers up on the key performance indicators board before you praise.

Sincerely yours,

 

Sam Palazzolo

PS – You may also enjoy some of the other recent posts I wrote:

Sam Palazzolo is the Managing Director at Tip of the Spear Ventures, an agile Venture Capital and Business Advisory Services firm specializing in Executive Coaching, Leadership Development, and Communication Skills Training for Leaders.

What You Should STOP Doing As A Leader – Part IV

By

The Point: While there are a gluttony of behaviors/actions you should be doing as a leader, we thought it would be interesting to take a typical Tip of the Spear contrarian view of what you should STOP doing as a leader. As such, the following seven (7) part series was developed based on executive coaching conversations had with leaders. In reviewing these leadership behaviors/actions, see if you see a little bit of yourself in the examples provided (No doubt you know several leaders besides yourself guilty)… Enjoy!

What You Should STOP Doing As A Leader – Part IV

Meet Barbara… She’s Great (Just Ask Her!)

Barbara was a high-potential (HiPo) in-training leader for an Inc5000 organization that was pegged to be a future leader within the organization. There was only one thing standing between Barbara and that coveted leadership position… Barbara! Here’s what she does that drives people crazy…

No One Pats Themselves On The Back Like She Does!

Now don’t for a minute think that Barbara wasn’t a hard worker, or that her work wasn’t very smart in nature. Quite the contrary… She was ideal when it came to her annual reviews. In her organization’s leadership development program she graduated in the top 10% of candidates. What was far from ideal though was her ability to self-appreciate her own abilities. In other words, Barbara was great at taking the praise for all of her/her team’s accomplishments. Worse yet was what she had to say about others…

Barbara’s Logic: Me=Good | Them=Stupid

While Barbara’s stakeholders recognized her as the productive workhorse that she was, they also recognized a decidedly ugly “chink” in the chain that comprised her makeup. Namely, after she would get done giving herself credit she would often go on long tirades about the inadequacy of those that did not participate at such a high level. In other words, Barbara was calling others stupid.

This trait of “calling it like it is” typically caused those around Barbara at such moments to cringe. It wasn’t enough that the job was done, (and done well), but the lamenting on how others were not up to her ability, couldn’t hold a candle to her work ethic/performance, and just were plain old stupid pointed to her immaturity as a leader. Questions were raised amongst leadership regarding are we spending money on leadership development and executive coaching on the right person? (Never a good question to have raised, especially for someone being considered a future leader, and HiPo nonetheless!)

SUMMARY

So in this post we covered that leaders should let their work product do their talking. And in talking, because the opportunities will present themselves, there isn’t a need to constantly praise yourself nor put down/call others stupid.

So whatever happened to Barbara? After one successful project she once again went on a self-promoting publicity tour, accompanied by the typical deprecation of others (i.e., Calling them stupid). Unfortunately for Barbara, the party in question called stupid was a superior in the organization, and they overheard of their stupidity (One that heretofore was in her corner, and one of her biggest supporters!) As you can imagine, support was replaced by destruction, and everything Barbara had worked for at the organization that was good turned bad in a matter of a few days. Two weeks later… Barbara was given the opportunity to go be successful somewhere else!

Sincerely yours,

 

Sam Palazzolo

PS – You may also enjoy some of the other recent posts I wrote:

Sam Palazzolo is the Managing Director at Tip of the Spear Ventures, an agile Venture Capital and Business Advisory Services firm specializing in Executive Coaching, Leadership Development, and Communication Skills Training for Leaders.

What You Should STOP Doing As A Leader – Part III

By

The Point: While there are a gluttony of behaviors/actions you should be doing as a leader, we thought it would be interesting to take a typical Tip of the Spear contrarian view of what you should STOP doing as a leader. As such, the following seven (7) part series was developed based on executive coaching conversations had with leaders. In reviewing these leadership behaviors/actions, see if you see a little bit of yourself in the examples provided (No doubt you know several leaders besides yourself guilty)… Enjoy!

What You Should STOP Doing As A Leader – Part III

Meet Michael… He Loves Conflict!

Michael was an up and comer at one of the worlds leading organizations (Fortune 100). He preferred to go by Michael, not Mike (Perhaps that should have been a clue as to his true nature?) Long story short, he had an eye for criticism and an ever-escalating expectation level. You know the type… They typically live/die by the mantra of “What was good last month, was last month and therefore not good enough in the current month.”

When it came to working with Michael, and when times were good he was relatively snarky. When times were bad though, watch out! In one such bad moment, Michael was overheard calling one of the division leaders nothing short of an idiot, his customers a lot of trolls, and that if they continued on the current roadmap as an organization failure could/would be the only result.

Avoiding Destructive Comments

When we started working with him, Michael’s leadership team recognized him as a dedicated/hard-working individual. As a matter of fact, his work ethic was second to none. However, his ethics at work were far from desired. As such, we continued to dive into exactly what were those derailing behavioral actions that caused Michael to not perform according to established organizational cultural guidelines.

In peeling back onion layer upon onion layer, we ultimately arrived upon Michael and his unwieldy ability to speak destructively. Regardless of audience (stakeholders both in/out of the organization) were born witness to his comments. While he had been informed of this in consecutive performance evaluations, attended leadership development courses to correct, and was even provided an internal executive coach, Michaels destructive comments scorched the Earth similar to Sherman’s March to the Sea in America’s Civil War (The Years of Northern Aggression: 1861-1865).

Save Your Sarcasm

When we met with Michael, we discussed his destructive nature during our initial session… You would have thought we hit him with an atom bomb! Michael swore that his tendency to speak destructively was merely his attempt at being “transparent,” and that furthermore he received feedback in the past review that his trustworthiness was low because of his inability to share his feelings.

Working with a leader that knows they are wrong, but doesn’t want to walk/act on the right side of the street can be tricky. In this case, we chose to implement an executive coaching arrangement that had a “shadowing” technique whereby we’d simply establish the expectations of the day ahead of time, observe the leader in action, and then at day’s conclusion review what we had seen along the expectation parameters.

The results… Worse than we/he could imagine! And worse yet, if Michael was like this with us watching him (a time when leaders typically are on their best behavior!), what was he like when we weren’t there?

SUMMARY

So in this post we covered that leaders should avoid destructive comments. While having such thoughts might lead to biased work products, certainly speaking them causes actions to follow in similar suit and short order. Instead of complaining and adding to a negative workplace (read that as one ripe with disengagement), be solutions-focused and look for positive outcomes. As a wise consultant once said, “I don’t embrace excuses, I only embrace solutions!” Leave your destructive comments behind.

So whatever happened to Michael? After two more years of brain-damaging performance reviews, a number of highly qualified employees leaving the organization because of him (read that as they left because of this jerk!), and feedback from customers that he was difficult to work with, leadership ultimately decided it was time to part company with “Destructive” Michael!

Sincerely yours,

 

Sam Palazzolo

PS – You may also enjoy some of the other recent posts I wrote:

Sam Palazzolo is the Managing Director at Tip of the Spear Ventures, an agile Venture Capital and Business Advisory Services firm specializing in Executive Coaching, Leadership Development, and Communication Skills Training for Leaders.

What You Should STOP Doing As A Leader – Part II

By

The Point: While there are a gluttony of behaviors/actions you should be doing as a leader, we thought it would be interesting to take a typical Tip of the Spear contrarian view of what you should STOP doing as a leader. As such, the following seven (7) part series was developed based on executive coaching conversations had with leaders. In reviewing these leadership behaviors/actions, see if you see a little bit of yourself in the examples provided (No doubt you know several leaders besides yourself guilty)… Enjoy!

What You Should STOP Doing As A Leader – Part II

No…

As part of her leadership develop, Meredith was conducting a one-to-one (1:1) with one of her stakeholders (She was engaging in an executive coaching initiatives known as Stakeholder Centered Coaching, popularized by Marshall Goldsmith- Executive Coaching Guru). She asking for feedback regarding how she was improving on a specific behavior that she had chosen (The behavior was listening, before speaking). In requesting feedback, the methodology of Stakeholder Centered Coaching implores a leader to respond with a simple “Thank you” and nothing more, nothing less (Keep in mind asking follow-up questions to insure that the leader has the proper context/understanding is of course allowed). And then it happened…

It wasn’t that Meredith disagreed with the feedback received (She remembered fully being in the context described). But what she didn’t agree with was the perspective her stakeholder recalled the incident with. As such, Meredith responded with a “No, no, no! You’re not considering…” and she proceeded to tell her side of the episode.

While the rest of the conversation went on rather civilly, Meredith had lost this episode, and probably future ones as well with this stakeholder because of her incessant use of the word “No.” In leadership communication skills training sessions, I’ve instructed that while it’s only two-letters, the word “No” instantly tells the other party in your communication that they are wrong, and perhaps more strongly that they are stupid.

But…

On the heels of “No” and potentially quite as damaging is the use of “But” by a leader. In Part I of this series, we discussed at length the use of “But” and proper context/alternatives that should be leveraged instead. The word “But” also shares demeaning qualities, and is one of the great disengagement/trust busters in the workplace.

However…

Similarly, the word “However” could also be lumped in (and Meredith was good at using “However!”) Use of “However” shares that stakeholders while competent, aren’t nearly as competent nor as smart as you are as a leader. If you’re point is to speak down to stakeholders, then by all means use “No,” “But,” and “However” in your leadership speech patterns. I know of one leader that employs a type of “Swear Jar” operation in the workplace, whereby anytime these three words are uttered, the guilty have to drop $20 into it (Call is the “No, But, However Jar).

If your goal is to engage those around you, align them with your vision, and move to higher ground stop using these words. Replacing “No” with “Yes,” “But” with “And,” and “However” with “I See” will allow you to maintain proper focus on your task at hand, and not destroy relationships/future feedback cycles.

SUMMARY

So in this post we’ve covered not saying “No,” “But,” and “However” in conversing with stakeholders. Alternatives that foster communication, instead of shutting it down, have been presented in return. Whatever happened to Meredith and her desired behavior change to listen before speaking? Was she able to show growth/improvement in this area? After six (6) months of working together, we realized that old habits die hard!

Sincerely yours,

 

Sam Palazzolo

PS – You may also enjoy some of the other recent posts I wrote:

Sam Palazzolo is the Managing Director at Tip of the Spear Ventures, an agile Venture Capital and Business Advisory Services firm specializing in Executive Coaching, Leadership Development, and Communication Skills Training for Leaders.

What You Should STOP Doing As A Leader – Part I

By

The Point: While there are a gluttony of behaviors/actions you should be doing as a leader, we thought it would be interesting to take a typical Tip of the Spear contrarian view of what you should STOP doing as a leader. As such, the following seven (7) part series was developed based on executive coaching conversations had with leaders. In reviewing these leadership behaviors/actions, see if you see a little bit of yourself in the examples provided (No doubt you know several leaders besides yourself guilty)… Enjoy!

What You Should STOP Doing As A Leader – Part I

That’s Good… But

Tim was conducting one of the Monday morning kick-off meetings for his leadership team, and I was “shadowing” him as part of our executive coaching engagement. We had developed the agenda last week, sent it to all attending parties, and the meeting thus far was going off without a hitch. As a matter of fact, perhaps one of his best meetings to date (so said one of the C-Suite leaders in attendance). And then came a topic “Open for Discussion”…

As a collaborative leadership team, each person present was considered the subject matter expert in their respective part of the organization. When Tim asked for feedback on a future initiative, each leader was expected to provide perspective from their vantage point. One such leader spoke up and gave evidentiary/fact-based data regarding where such an initiative could potentially head in the coming weeks/months if launched as intended. And then Tim said it…

Questions Attract | Statements Repel

By saying “That’s good… But” what Tim was telling his leader (and all the other leaders simultaneously) was that their idea wasn’t really good at all. Instead, what came out of his mouth next was in fact the right response. Considered the one and only right answer. Perhaps even my opinion is the only one that counts!

So what could Tim have done? Instead of in an instant wiping out any/all credibility, he could have followed-up the perspective given with a question (What? Where? When? Who? and How? but never Why?)

Questions attract people (including leaders/non-leaders) to you. They reflect curiosity. They also make people comfortable with what you are saying (dare I say “Trust” you?) Making statements pushes people away from you.

SUMMARY

So in this post we’ve covered not saying “That’s Good… But” to those that work with us. Nothing undermines the leaders credibility faster than a group of employees that don’t feel like they’re part of the team, and if you have all the answers all the time, what do you really need anyone else around you for after all? Replacing that phrase with a question will draw people into the conversation, instead of pushing them away.

 

Sincerely yours,

 

Sam Palazzolo

PS – You may also enjoy some of the other recent posts I wrote:

Sam Palazzolo is the Managing Director at Tip of the Spear Ventures, an agile Venture Capital and Business Advisory Services firm specializing in Executive Coaching, Leadership Development, and Communication Skills Training for Leaders.