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Tip of the Spear Ventures

Venture Capital | Business Transformation Consulting

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What You Should STOP Doing As A Leader – Part III

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The Point: While there are a gluttony of behaviors/actions you should be doing as a leader, we thought it would be interesting to take a typical Tip of the Spear contrarian view of what you should STOP doing as a leader. As such, the following seven (7) part series was developed based on executive coaching conversations had with leaders. In reviewing these leadership behaviors/actions, see if you see a little bit of yourself in the examples provided (No doubt you know several leaders besides yourself guilty)… Enjoy!

What You Should STOP Doing As A Leader – Part III

Meet Michael… He Loves Conflict!

Michael was an up and comer at one of the worlds leading organizations (Fortune 100). He preferred to go by Michael, not Mike (Perhaps that should have been a clue as to his true nature?) Long story short, he had an eye for criticism and an ever-escalating expectation level. You know the type… They typically live/die by the mantra of “What was good last month, was last month and therefore not good enough in the current month.”

When it came to working with Michael, and when times were good he was relatively snarky. When times were bad though, watch out! In one such bad moment, Michael was overheard calling one of the division leaders nothing short of an idiot, his customers a lot of trolls, and that if they continued on the current roadmap as an organization failure could/would be the only result.

Avoiding Destructive Comments

When we started working with him, Michael’s leadership team recognized him as a dedicated/hard-working individual. As a matter of fact, his work ethic was second to none. However, his ethics at work were far from desired. As such, we continued to dive into exactly what were those derailing behavioral actions that caused Michael to not perform according to established organizational cultural guidelines.

In peeling back onion layer upon onion layer, we ultimately arrived upon Michael and his unwieldy ability to speak destructively. Regardless of audience (stakeholders both in/out of the organization) were born witness to his comments. While he had been informed of this in consecutive performance evaluations, attended leadership development courses to correct, and was even provided an internal executive coach, Michaels destructive comments scorched the Earth similar to Sherman’s March to the Sea in America’s Civil War (The Years of Northern Aggression: 1861-1865).

Save Your Sarcasm

When we met with Michael, we discussed his destructive nature during our initial session… You would have thought we hit him with an atom bomb! Michael swore that his tendency to speak destructively was merely his attempt at being “transparent,” and that furthermore he received feedback in the past review that his trustworthiness was low because of his inability to share his feelings.

Working with a leader that knows they are wrong, but doesn’t want to walk/act on the right side of the street can be tricky. In this case, we chose to implement an executive coaching arrangement that had a “shadowing” technique whereby we’d simply establish the expectations of the day ahead of time, observe the leader in action, and then at day’s conclusion review what we had seen along the expectation parameters.

The results… Worse than we/he could imagine! And worse yet, if Michael was like this with us watching him (a time when leaders typically are on their best behavior!), what was he like when we weren’t there?

SUMMARY

So in this post we covered that leaders should avoid destructive comments. While having such thoughts might lead to biased work products, certainly speaking them causes actions to follow in similar suit and short order. Instead of complaining and adding to a negative workplace (read that as one ripe with disengagement), be solutions-focused and look for positive outcomes. As a wise consultant once said, “I don’t embrace excuses, I only embrace solutions!” Leave your destructive comments behind.

So whatever happened to Michael? After two more years of brain-damaging performance reviews, a number of highly qualified employees leaving the organization because of him (read that as they left because of this jerk!), and feedback from customers that he was difficult to work with, leadership ultimately decided it was time to part company with “Destructive” Michael!

Sincerely yours,

 

Sam Palazzolo

PS – You may also enjoy some of the other recent posts I wrote:

Sam Palazzolo is the Managing Director at Tip of the Spear Ventures, an agile Venture Capital and Business Advisory Services firm specializing in Executive Coaching, Leadership Development, and Communication Skills Training for Leaders.

What You Should STOP Doing As A Leader – Part II

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The Point: While there are a gluttony of behaviors/actions you should be doing as a leader, we thought it would be interesting to take a typical Tip of the Spear contrarian view of what you should STOP doing as a leader. As such, the following seven (7) part series was developed based on executive coaching conversations had with leaders. In reviewing these leadership behaviors/actions, see if you see a little bit of yourself in the examples provided (No doubt you know several leaders besides yourself guilty)… Enjoy!

What You Should STOP Doing As A Leader – Part II

No…

As part of her leadership develop, Meredith was conducting a one-to-one (1:1) with one of her stakeholders (She was engaging in an executive coaching initiatives known as Stakeholder Centered Coaching, popularized by Marshall Goldsmith- Executive Coaching Guru). She asking for feedback regarding how she was improving on a specific behavior that she had chosen (The behavior was listening, before speaking). In requesting feedback, the methodology of Stakeholder Centered Coaching implores a leader to respond with a simple “Thank you” and nothing more, nothing less (Keep in mind asking follow-up questions to insure that the leader has the proper context/understanding is of course allowed). And then it happened…

It wasn’t that Meredith disagreed with the feedback received (She remembered fully being in the context described). But what she didn’t agree with was the perspective her stakeholder recalled the incident with. As such, Meredith responded with a “No, no, no! You’re not considering…” and she proceeded to tell her side of the episode.

While the rest of the conversation went on rather civilly, Meredith had lost this episode, and probably future ones as well with this stakeholder because of her incessant use of the word “No.” In leadership communication skills training sessions, I’ve instructed that while it’s only two-letters, the word “No” instantly tells the other party in your communication that they are wrong, and perhaps more strongly that they are stupid.

But…

On the heels of “No” and potentially quite as damaging is the use of “But” by a leader. In Part I of this series, we discussed at length the use of “But” and proper context/alternatives that should be leveraged instead. The word “But” also shares demeaning qualities, and is one of the great disengagement/trust busters in the workplace.

However…

Similarly, the word “However” could also be lumped in (and Meredith was good at using “However!”) Use of “However” shares that stakeholders while competent, aren’t nearly as competent nor as smart as you are as a leader. If you’re point is to speak down to stakeholders, then by all means use “No,” “But,” and “However” in your leadership speech patterns. I know of one leader that employs a type of “Swear Jar” operation in the workplace, whereby anytime these three words are uttered, the guilty have to drop $20 into it (Call is the “No, But, However Jar).

If your goal is to engage those around you, align them with your vision, and move to higher ground stop using these words. Replacing “No” with “Yes,” “But” with “And,” and “However” with “I See” will allow you to maintain proper focus on your task at hand, and not destroy relationships/future feedback cycles.

SUMMARY

So in this post we’ve covered not saying “No,” “But,” and “However” in conversing with stakeholders. Alternatives that foster communication, instead of shutting it down, have been presented in return. Whatever happened to Meredith and her desired behavior change to listen before speaking? Was she able to show growth/improvement in this area? After six (6) months of working together, we realized that old habits die hard!

Sincerely yours,

 

Sam Palazzolo

PS – You may also enjoy some of the other recent posts I wrote:

Sam Palazzolo is the Managing Director at Tip of the Spear Ventures, an agile Venture Capital and Business Advisory Services firm specializing in Executive Coaching, Leadership Development, and Communication Skills Training for Leaders.

The Leadership Challenge: Where to Focus?

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At Tip of the Spear, we’re certified through the Leadership Challenge as Executive Coaches.  If you’re familiar with the Leadership Challenge by Kouzes/Posner, you know that there are five (5) practices of leadership that could be looked upon as “universal truths” when it comes to successful practices as a leader (If you’re not familiar with the Leadership Challenge, here’s where you can find out more information: http://www.leadershipchallenge.com/home.aspx).

As Executive Coaches, we’re often asked “Where do you see leaders spending the majority of the time?” In other words, where do leaders focus to maximize their results?  We’re interested in hearing your feedback, so we created the following poll:

CLICK HERE

Please share your perspective with us.  At the end of the study we’ll share the responses gathered to help provide feedback on the Leadership Challenge at hand: Where to Focus?

What’s the Point?

If you don’t focus on a target, odds are you won’t hit it.  Focus is the key to achieving results!

 

The Leadership Challenge: Where to Focus?

The Leadership Challenge